~

I hate it when people tell me “pot isn’t addicting” or “it’s just a plant what harm can it be?” I have been an avid marijuana smoker for 4+ years and let me tell you, the shit never fucking goes away. You either try it a few times in high school and get over it, or it completely changes your life. There is no in between. And that scares me. I don’t smoke to get high, I smoke to ease my anxiety. To me, marijuana is medication. Not recreation. And I have never been more addicted to anything in my life. I have tried so hard to find other ways to be happy, worry free, more relaxed. But in the back of my mind I always turn to green. I can’t stop. And the worst part of it all is that I want to stop, more than anything. I cringe when I see kids flaunting their pretty glass or smoking in public places. Because through my eyes I just see them having a good time getting high and spending time with friends. They don’t know the dark depths of the drug, the numb highs and the terrible, terrible lows. They don’t understand that the more you smoke, the more it consumes you. The emptiness takes over your thoughts, fucks with your emotions and stability. I can’t remember what happiness feels like. I just wish I could feel again.